I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
