I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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