I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
