So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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