Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
