Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
