WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
