Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
