What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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