im holly from the hills drunk
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
