so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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