just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
