So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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