Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
