and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
