My vagina just recognized that song.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
