if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
