I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
