he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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