it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
