Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
