I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize