when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
id be glad to
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
