how can u be prego again
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
