Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
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