this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
