Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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