Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
