elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
he high fived his dick after we had sex
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
