we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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