I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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