So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
