Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
