she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
