Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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