you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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