do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
