"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
