I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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