Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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