I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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