they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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