Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I came so hard my ears popped.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
