I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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