I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
