you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
