and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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