Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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