all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize