Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
