Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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