And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
