GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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