:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You left your underwear on the fireplace
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
