there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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