I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
