I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There r osticjed everywhere
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize