I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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