So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize