I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
